Captain Holt: I suggest putting that caffeine towards something more productive than "kissing".

Rosa: All you have to do is say a few nice comments during the memorial.
Captain Holt: As God said when Wuntch tried to sneak past the gates into heaven, "It ain't happening, honey."
Rosa: [cackles]

Amy: Captain, how are you feeling?
Captain Holt: Better today. I even managed to eat some plain toast this morning.
Amy: Smart. Something bland.
Captain Holt: That's my favorite breakfast.

Amy: Maybe we should talk about deets for the case. Plan our next move. Grab some chow.
Captain Holt: No need. I brought these. Nutrition bricks. I have original no flavor, and whole wheat no flavor.

Gina: If Rosa had a twin, she would have eaten her in the womb.

Charles: Are you leaving us for Copperhead?
Gina: Because I am prepared to light Charles on fire in protest.

Sergeant Jeffords: My own office. With walls!
Charles: Did you tell him Terry doesn't love walls?
Sergeant Jeffords: No, Terry loves walls.