Captain Holt: Oh, I see what's happening here. Uh, due to an issue with the Internet cloud, you are seeing a series of pictures that have nothing to do with me or the 99th precinct.

Rosa: All you have to do is say a few nice comments during the memorial.
Captain Holt: As God said when Wuntch tried to sneak past the gates into heaven, "It ain't happening, honey."
Rosa: [cackles]

Amy: Captain, how are you feeling?
Captain Holt: Better today. I even managed to eat some plain toast this morning.
Amy: Smart. Something bland.
Captain Holt: That's my favorite breakfast.

Amy: Maybe we should talk about deets for the case. Plan our next move. Grab some chow.
Captain Holt: No need. I brought these. Nutrition bricks. I have original no flavor, and whole wheat no flavor.

Charles: See you in hell, partner. [Charles pushes the K-13 robot off the balconey]
[present:]
Jake: You killed her?
Charles: Her? Oh, my God, it was a her. You were replacing Amy, not me. What have I done?

Jake: Can I help you with something?
Captain Holt: I'm concerned that my presentation isn't, uh, "jazzy" enough to compete with Jeffrey's. He's such a showman.
Jake: Yeah.
Captain Holt: I'm thinking about augmenting the graphs with, um, color.
Jake: Sir.
Captain Holt: I know. I'm debasing myself. Anyway, give this to Jeffords. He's the artist. I'd like him to choose the, um-
Jake: Color?
Captain Holt: Yes.

Jake: Attention, our boss is headed this way. Everyone has to clear the hallway right now.
[The crowd grumbles]
Amy: Shh!
[The crowd is silent]
Charles: [whispering] Wow, she is great at shushing.
Jake: I know, she's like a librarian.
Rosa: You mean, like a sexy librarian?
Jake: No, a regular one.